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Of Heroic Destiny: The Journal |
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Valdison's Journal |
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Of Heroic Destiny WGA Registration # 1071412
Of Heroic Destiny Nazi Germany
Diary of an SS Officer
Preface
I especially like this account because it illustrates how one can derive heroic inspiration from indigenous mythology without rejecting science, behaving unjustly towards others, or being deceived by the false agendas of governments. I would only hope that if I had lived during these years that I could have acquitted myself even half as well as this very exceptional individual. The journal was bequeathed to me from the estate of Valdison's good friend Dr. Norbert Bertram Warner. Disclosure of identities was authorized only last year. Although for purposes of safety there was no mention of children in the journal, it is known that Wallie had a son with Helga Ingram in 1972. The name given to me was Garrett Phelan Valdison.
Errol Harlan Thurlow
Stockholm Sweden March 16, 2003 ___
Of Heroic Destiny
October 11, 1900. Born Waldron Sigfried Valdison in Gottenberg, Sweden. Parents call me Wallie.
Winter 1903. Ma and Pa teach me to ski. Expert by age seven. Have wonderful frisky wolf-dog companions as a child. Many good friends at school. Both parents and Grandma are good cooks. We travel frequently to Germany on business vacations. Learn fluent German early. We often visit Pa's friend Gustav Flodine at his family villa in the country. Become very good at shooting Pa's Mauser pistol. Pa warns me that every gun is different. Summer 1909. Electrical inventor Eric Peterson comes to visit. He is married to Gustav's daughter Agnes. Later Pa tells me that Eric is a friend of Charles Steinmetz and was with Guglielmo Marconi on occasion of first transatlantic communication. June 1910. First working summer. Learn value of diligence and frugality. Attempt to cultivate within myself a disdain for the ownership of material things. The money I earn will go further and I will have greater mobility. One can enjoy nice things out and about or in museums without having to own or maintain them. Ma tells me I'm awfully serious for a boy my age. She says I was even serious when I was a baby - but not grumpy. I am very pleased to hear this and take it as a compliment. Begin diverse program of summer study. Enjoy Old Norse lore. Read Snorri Sturlusson. June 1911. Read Alphonse Louis Constant. Study Rosicucian books and Hebrew Qabalah. Come to value spiritual self determination. January 1912. With my parents meet Joseph Wagner and Marie Gangolf while in Chamonix-Mont Blanc for skiing. June 1913. Spend all night with shapely twenty-two year old woman who likes to initiate young men into the mysteries of
sex. From here forward enjoy one skinny or zaftig lady per month, but not more than this. Most sought-after pleasures are
costly, frivolous, and produce dependency. Keeping a good outlook makes nearly everything pleasurable without disadvantage. March 1918. Schoolmate friend Nori Warner and I call ourselves warriors of heroic destiny. We often discuss the value of unimpeded evolution and individual liberty. We agree that those who truly value these things are an extreme minority in every country on Earth - like sighted people amidst the blind. One day we swear a solemn oath to never make unjust encroachment against any living thing, to always stand stalwart against the legions of mediocrity, and to defend our own or family liberty without hesitation or guilt even unto grim and bloody death. We also swear to exert libertarian influence whenever and wherever possible all the rest of our lives no matter where we may find ourselves and whatever else we may have to do. April 22, 1918. Sad to hear that Manfred von Richthofen was shot down yesterday. I love the people on both sides in this pitiful war, and none of this would be happening if people were awake.
June 20, 1918. Move to Stockholm. September 1919. Enter University of Munich as second year student. Study history, archeology, psychology. June 1920 Begin reading Aleister Crowley's "Blue Equinox" . Oktoberfest 1920. Visit very wicked ladies in Hamburg. Close call
with Communist thugs one night convinces me to carry 7mm Luger with silencer under my coat from here on. June 1922. Graduate w honors. Nice graduation presents. Considerable money plus small business interest
associated with Zeppelin Shipping Company. September 21, 1922. Climb Brocken Mountain with Helga. Consecrate Elder Futhark
Ring and dagger as field athame. December 1922. Visit Aleister Crowley [famous occult writer and mystic] in Sicily. We talk about many
things such as the universal spiritual quest of mankind. He agrees with my statement "the only morality is absolute libertarian
reciprocity. All else is merely criminal rationalization". April 21, 1923. Make sentimental visit to site of the old JG1, Richthofen's Squadron. War ace Hermann Goering happens also to be visiting. [In years to come Wallie will view this coincidence as a very fortuitous one]. He sees me circle and land. Says he admires my ability. We talk for some time at lunch. He must trust me implicitly, because he tells me about the Luftwaffe and suggests that I join [Luftwaffe at this time is secret and in violation of the Treaty of Versailles]. Tell him I feel very honored, but that relative to my overall goals as a non German I think it's far too dangerous - like being a duck with too many hunters. September 1923. Nazi Party Rally in Nuremberg. Goering introduces me to Heinrich Himmler,
who tells me about Dietrich Eckart and Hans Horbiger. Two days later he sends me a list of suggested arcane studies. Visit Berlin. Second night I am with pretty blond girl, Inga. Local policeman for some
reason bursts in through door. Yells at me to get dressed. Try to ask what is wrong. He angrily swings truncheon at my face.
I move, but not fast enough. He hits my left shoulder. Scramble for my pistol and shoot this very cruel and bossy man right
between the eyes. I really dislike being interrupted this way when I am with a girl. Feel very disappointed in myself. I didn't
listen to Pa about individual guns. Actually aimed for center of policeman's forehead. Shot was four centimeters low. Now
I'll have to practice. Luckily ground floor with private door yard. Drive body some distance away while Inga scrubs police
brains off wall. Have her call hotel next morning pretending to be secretary with urgent business. Leave Berlin immediately. April 1925. Visit France. Very impressed by the new Art Deco at Paris Exposition. August 19, 1927. Nuremberg Rally. Hitler introduces me to Franz Von Pfeffer. Attend this spectacular function
every year from here forward.
Oktoberfest 1927. Visit Berlin. Enjoy jazz. Rendezvous with Nori Warner. One night on the town we have drinks with singer
Lotte Lenya and her friend Greta [Warners's future wife]. Orgy of sex afterwards at Helga's house. [Wallie keeps this, arcane matters in general, and all libertarian business private
until many years later]. July 1929. Join Rahn in Lavelanet France in seach of early Pagan writings. Explore and dig around fortress on Montsegur.
Visit mountain caverns in the area. Compile data. May 4, 1930. First of secret trips to Geneva where I invest in rare metals. December 1931. Himmler announces marriage requirements for all SS men.
January 1932. Have my doctor write a ficticious letter to SS Headquarters claiming that I am sterile.
March 1932. Am granted permission not to marry. Now I can carry on with my Witches without any foolish govermental interference.
June 22, 1932. Begin anonymous libertarian mailings to Nazi Party leaders. This involves presenting them with simple concise
information about the superior workability of Capitalism and liberty. The examples provided by America, Canada, and Australia
in the last century, before the bankers took over, is the only proof any economist or politician should ever need. April 1933. Visit New York on leave. See Duke Ellington's Band at the Cotton Club. Another night, see Cab Calloway. One
evening enjoy fine supper at Cafe Society. See Hazel Scott and meet nice young couple, Erk and Priscilla Kelly from Birmingham
Alabama. Erk's uncle, Sir Erskine Ramsay, owns big steel mill there. Pill tells me about her swinging young cousin Helen Pinkson
from Boston. Talk music later with Cab Calloway at champagne party. August 30, 1933. Nuremberg. Big crowd in front of the Frauenkirche. September 1933. My unit is now to be called the Leibstandarte SS Adolf Hitler. Nice quarters
March 1934. Attend meeting at Chamber of Culture in Berlin. Join mainly in hopes of helping to change the very poor agenda. June 30, 1934. Get talking about Hamburg with young SS man Pfister just before Himler presents us with SS Honor Ring and
citation document. July 25, 1934. Visit parents in Gottenberg. Help Ma with vegetable garden. Good pot roast with fresh cut spinach afterwards. September 1934 Nuremberg. Grand spectacle as always. Meet Wolfram von Sievers.
Oktoberfest 1934. Meet a large raven-haired woman who drinks only a little beer and then suddenly passes out. Trade her
in for a petite sober blond. February 6, 1936. Attend Winter Games in Garmisch-Partenkirchen. March 21, 1937. Visit Black Forest with Helga. We hear loud clashing noises echoing through the trees. Eventually come
to a clearing and see two stags fiercely locking horns in competition for females.
May 1, 1937. Receive Order of the German Eagle 5th Class. This is simply a general recognition of diverse effort. I must ask Goering to recommend a tailor to make a special uniform to display all this handsome gingerbread I'm accumulating. May 6, 1937. Hindenberg blows up in New York. Call Pa. Decide to sell all our Zeppelin related interests immediately.
June 1937. Visit Peenemuende Rocket Research Center with Goering. See Werner Von Braun through
a door window. Would like to have met him, but we can't disturb them working.
September 1937 Nuremberg. Speer has outdone himself. Zeppelin field is magnificent. November 6, 1937. Find out results of conference in Reich Chancellery yesterday. Hitler explained plans for Lebenstraum.
Am glad of the small part I have played in helping to rebuild Germany since the last war, but realize now that I must leave
as soon as possible. This is Hitler's fight, not mine. He is a brilliant politician, but the idea of invading Russia is absolutely
absurd. Education about birth control is the best way to gain living space for Germans. If the Vikings had done this instead
of raiding elsewhere, we would not have been invaded by the Christians and would still have our Norse culture at home instead
of the Fish Basket Heresy as Nori and I have always called it. January 30, 1938. Receive SS Long Service Award 2nd Class. Never got involved in the arcane side of the SS, but nonetheless admire just for itself the "Articles of Faith" of the Black Order [Himmler's inner circle]. It reflects a superb intellectual understanding of spirituality. Such, of course, can be used either for good or evil depending on the goals of the people involved. April 1938. Visit Berlin. Meet Martin Bormann and Albert Spear. A few days later Speer shows me the progress on his new Reich Chancellery. Being such a fine architect as this must be extremely rewarding. The legacy such a man leaves is very tangible and great. May 1938. Receive Motor Sports Badge 1st Class for past minor racing triumphs. September 1938. Wish I could be at Nuremberg. They will just have to get along without me. November 7, 1938. Ernst vom Rath shot in Paris today by angry Jew named Hershel Grynszspan. March 1939. Visit Carl Jung at the Polytechnic in Zurich. We discuss ideas of destiny and multiple coincidence. April 30, 1939. Attend World's Fair in New York. Wonderful look at probable future. Stay whole month. One night get all dressed up. Taxi driver tells me Cotton Club closed long ago. Have good time anyway. He drives me to see wonderful singer named Billie Holiday with an entire orchestra. August 27, 1939. The Heinkel He 178 becomes the first aircraft in the world to fly with turbojet engine. September 3, 1939. Britain, France, Australia, and New Zealand declare war on Germany. It feels very good to be sitting
next to my little kitchen stove safe at home. Someone must see to the hens, after all. October 8, 1940. Via mail receive nice Luftwaffe wristwatch with picture of Heinkel jet on face. Enclosed is a note: "Happy birthday - Your friend Hermann Goering." This is a great releif. I will phone him soon. February 1941. Buy new Walther P-38 pistol. Excellent design. Fits hand like a glove. Can release safety and cock hammer
in one motion as I pull from side holster under my coat. March 7, 1941. See the strangest little rabbit out on the lawn this morning. Keeps looking up at me. Clarify outline for autobiography, "Diary of an SS Officer". Initiate deal with publisher for immediate release at end of war. Will not actually write it until I see events winding down. This war might last forever. Dec 3 1941 Work is halted on Hitler's splendid Autobahn project. January 8, 1942. Buy nice handmade model of the Battleship Tirpitz. Never got to see original.
June 28, 1845. Looks like decision not to write autobiography is a good one. People are very angry about this war because
of the prison camps. Most people think that all SS men were in the Death's Head Unit. The fact that I got out of Germany four
years before the Final Solution concept was even adopted won't matter to the kind of sloppy thinkers and moral cowards that
would permit all this government sponsored madness to occur in the first place. November 20, 1945. War trials begin in Nuremberg. Too bad those who framed the Treaty of Versailles won't be held accountable as well. They structured things so that their banker friends would be able to finance another war, and it worked. Under such terms good hardworking Germans would have to elect a strong leader like Hitler to save them from Communism. The desire to relocate Jews was a perfectly normal reaction to the events of this period, but things went wrong when the war started and the deportations had to stop. What really sealed things was the Allies' insistence on unconditional surrender. War is complex, but fools always try to make it simple. November 28, 1945. Visit site of JG7 Greyhound Squadron. Probably best of this war. Major Erich Rudorffer alone had 224
kills. Very different from the first war. The old planes were much more maneuverable. The increased number of hits, however,
has to do with the ability of the faster single wing planes to suddenly swoop out of the clouds and attack so quickly that
the other pilot never has a chance to maneuver. A truly viable spirituality must have perfect integrity between three basic components: October 1, 1946. Attend last days of trials at Nuremberg. Get a few pale smiles from old friends, but mostly the whole business is very sad. International Military Tribunal hands down twenty one verdicts. Eleven are sentenced to death. The Russians murdered far more people than the Nazis, but they are not criminals because they are on the winning side. The entire struggle is a very clownish enterprise. National Socialism vs International Socialism. Two equally false economic ideas with the international bankers manipulating the politicians and lending money to both sides. Just as in the last war I love all the people involved, but they are all just a bunch of dopes when it comes to economics. The world has been made safe for Democracy by leaving half of Europe under Socialist dictators. Capitalism is what works, not Socialism. None of this had to happen. It's a pity that phony economic theory could have become so interwoven with high Christian ideals and heroic Norse values connected with the simple preservation of our race. Both sides have been led equally astray. This war only illustrates the terrible consequences that can occur when men of power and those who support them are not well rounded in their education. I know that Russia will slowly build a capital base and will be able to initiate free enterprise eventually. I just hope I live long enough to see it. August 1947. Meet Dr. Ferry Porsche. Very smart man. I now have tangible reason to feel encouragement that Germany is rebounding well since the war. January 30, 1948. Attend Winter Olympic Games at St. Moritz. Talk with Paula Kann, a native Austrian girl
on the American alpine team. She says there is very good skiing in America since the war. Many who fought on skis in Norway
got government loans and created mountain resorts. October 5, 1949. On vacation in America. Visit friends in Dover Massachusetts. One morning while out walking
alone see a very strange sight at the uphill corner of Bretton and Abbey Road. A little boy is playing on a tricycle. Boy
looks like he must be of British ancestry, but also looks strangely like a chimpanzee. Strong look of moral retardation. I
am almost spellbound by the oddness of his appearance. Feel deeply sorry for his parents knowing the terrible ambivalence,
the mixture of contemp and pity they must feel whenever they look at him. Suddenly a man about sixty in a black hooded jersey
and pants comes stealing out of the woods behind the house gripping a large pillow, his arms raised, rushing nimbly towards
the boy as if to smother him with the pillow. Because of the rose bushes apparently, the man doesn't notice me. I raise my
hand and wave briskly until he sees. I then point at him correctively and he runs back into the woods. The boy doesn't notice
any of this. Nobody at home. Call police. No answer. Leave a note telling the boy's parents about the hooded man. Tell the
boy to stay inside because it's going to rain and to lock the door behind me and keep it locked until his parents come home. September 1956. Visit New York. One night see young hepcat Elvis Prestley with big sideburns on television. Buy supercharged
Ford Thunderbird. Red w tan interior. Very fast acceleration but quite a petrol drinker by standards back home. December 1963. Visit England. See American bluesman Sonny Boy Williamson at Crawdaddy Club in Richmond, Surrey. He is backed by a combo called the Yardbirds. Impressive young guitar player, Eric Clapton. August 1964. While vacationing in America visit Joe Wagner and Marie Gangolf now living in Royalston Massachusetts.
Haven't seen them since we were all kids. They left Europe just before the first war. They have huge vegetable garden. Onions
bigger than large grapefruits. January 18, 1968. Have decided I will complete my autobiography after all. If they kill me now, at my age it won't matter too much.
1969. Visit Boston Massachusetts. Enjoy half roast duck and Indian Pudding at Durgin Park. For lunch one day have beef tongue on rye at Jake Wirth's in the Theater District. Contact Carl Peterson who I haven't seen since he was a child. He is attending Suffolk University as a student of psychology and invites me to hear Victor Frankl lecture at the school. Afterward at a tea held in Frankl's honor, we talk briefly with Frankl and Dr. Robert Webb, one of Carl's professors. What a small world it is - it turns out that Webb's mentor in experimental psychology was himself a student of Wilhelm Wundt, who was a friend of my father years ago in Leipzig. Enjoy special sandwich called Cheeseburger Trilbee afterwards at Beacon Chambers Hotel with Carl and his friend Frank Adrisi. Both are 356 Porsche owners. Frank is planning to study clinical psychology at the University of Chicago starting in Autumn 1970. August 1969 Finally get to see extraordinary rock and roll combo called Led Zeppelin. Nostalgic mental association for me, of course. Talk with pretty young girl who is surprised that someone my age would like this kind of music. Seems a logical evolution of blues to me. Difficult to understand how somebody can play guitar as well as Jimmy Page. He must take special vitamins and pursue arcane studies. I admire the thread of Professor Tolkein's writings I hear in this work and think of it as the inspired music of heroic destiny. August 12, 1974. Sometimes evil can come from good intentions. It pains me to say it, but while visiting my friends in Dover Massachusetts I find out things which make now me feel that I should not have saved that little boy from the hooded man with the pillow on that Autumn day way back in 1949. Apparently the look of constitutional psychopathy which I noticed in him so long ago has finally born a great deal of very rotten fruit. September 1982. Read investment book by smart young man, Douglas Casey, who claims that Soviet Union will soon break up
into component countries. Think he may be right. September 3, 1985. Have been riding trains all over Europe recently. They are very streamlined and much faster than years ago.
January 5, 1988. Customs officials detain me crossing into Vermont from Canada. Get talking with a U.S. Treasury fellow who asks me what I think about events in Russia. I tell him that if he had asked me a few months ago I would have given an easy answer, but that this Gorbachev fellow is a very great man and I expect to see big changes in Russia soon. November 9, 1989. TV says that the Berlin Wall is about to fall. November 10, 1989. Myself and over two million East Germans enter Berlin. November 11 1989. Radio says that communist government is collapsing. Visit East Berlin. Thousands of people are walking around drinking champagne. The empty bottles everywhere litter the street. Restaurants and stores open. Am delighted to have lived long enough to see these wonderful events. November 14, 1989. Now that it's all over I will admit that it would have been difficult for Russia to go directly from medieval feudalism to free enterprise with no capital base for industrialization. This could only have been accomplished with massive foreign ownership of business, a great evil in itself. Perhaps seventy years of industrial socialism was necessary to bring Russia to this splendid day. March 14, 1990. Hear a cruel but thought-provoking joke today: Why are Jews so smart? Answer: Because all the stupid ones remained in Germany after 1933. Sadly, there is a valid point to this. It's especially easy for me to understand how the Jews felt. I loved Germany too and didn't want to leave. Sometimes though, common sense must override unmitigated optimism and stubborn pride. History does not always move as fast as we might want it to and one must, after all, live to fight another day.
The End Proportionally more of this story is real than is usually the case: All dates and historical events are completely accurate. Only the characters of Inga, cruel policeman, street thugs, old couple, and hooded man are fictitious. Wallie, Helga, the coven, and all their activities not related to the Third Reich, represent real people and events of the recent past. Absolutely every other character and situation is completely real and in the exact time period and place indicated. Roy C. Peterson
Heroic Destiny Productions
Like to see this as an epic motion picture? Sixty four actors are ready to test. We only have one major star. We would like to talk to Actors, Agents, Directors, Producers, Financiers, Distributors, Scouts
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