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Las Piñatas


January 8, 2014

Hilton decides to visit friends who are working to stop the endless flow of Mestizos across the Arizona border. They are having trouble controlling the excesses of many of their younger people.

 

January 9, 2014. 3:19 A.M

Eight Mestizo babies, decorated to look like piñatas, are hanging by their feet in an open, well lighted area. Most are crying. The mothers are screaming in despair, tied up in portable chairs. Eight blindfolded young patriots who want America for Americans are pretending to, make near misses of the babies’ heads with baseball bats.

 

The blindfolds are fixed so they can see what they are doing. The plan is that when the loud recording of the infamous “El Degüello” used by Santa Ana for torment Americans at the Alamo, reaches a certain agreed-upon crescendo, each man will split the head of his particular pre-assigned baby, spattering the mothers with their brains.

 

It is felt that news of this evil atrocity will have considerable deterrent value to many in Mexico who might otherwise be planning immigration, either legal or illegal, to the United States. The patriots call their movement, of which this is but one event, the “Mestizo Go Home Campaign.”

 

Hilton and a cowboy, Ben Pardee, arrive just in time to save the babies. Ben walks over and turns off the recording. He shouts,

 

“Damn you, stop this now. We are decent civilized men, not torturers.”

 

One drunk man in front of a tree reaches for his pistol. Hilton hurls a five-point star pinning the man’s sleeve to the tree trunk.

 

Ben looks surprised and says,

 

“Jeezus Hilton, that was superb!”

 

The others murmur in agreement. Ben uses this strange moment to break the spell of violence, and introduces Hilton,

 

“Men, this is an old friend of mine active in the North. For very good reasons we used to call him the Werebear. He has done more for the revolution than all of us put together.

 

“I asked him to come down here and speak to us, but please, let these women have their babies and go back across the border. They have learned their lesson, and will not invade our country again. One man translates this for the women, and they all signal agreement with expressions of gratitude for this last minute mercy from God.

 

January 10. 2014

The men from yesterday, and a few more, are seated in a small meeting hall. After a second brief introduction of Hilton, Ben continues,

 

“Last night we let the invaders go because we think the stories they tell will help America far more than killing them. In future, however, we are going to kill them. We have a truck to use as a gas chamber. Bottled gas, not exhaust. More humane and much quicker. Now Hilton has a few words for you.”

 

 Hilton goes to the podium,

 

“Men, Ben has told me about the losses of loved ones many of you have suffered because of this tidal wave of Mestizos. They have raped and killed many gringos, but we are Libertarian Nationalists, Warriors of Light, and can only diminish ourselves if we cause unnecessary suffering to any living thing, no matter how foul. We must kill the enemy, but should do it quickly and cleanly, as we would wish to be killed ourselves if the circumstances were reversed. A friend of mine calls this principle the “Golden Rule of Death.”

 

Most of the men smile.

 

“We are European defenders, and it is our heritage to be Chivalrous. When one has the upper hand in battle it is well to be quick and deadly, but never cruel or gloating. Even if you don’t quite believe this in your hearts now, have trust. Talk to old warriors. Most will confirm my words.