Ted has just read an article about how the Chinese Communist infiltrators who have ruined Hollywood are starting a project that will use a series of films to undermine the efforts of President Benedict, using a different name, with elaborate indefensible innuendo based upon the ongoing slander campaign waged by the radical left and subverted media. The plan is to totally destabilize America, paving the way for a Communist takeover followed by the usual enslavement.

At the biggest studio, the movie currently being shot is a fictional “true” story about how nineteenth century English hunters in China supposedly captured twenty-four innocent Chinese citizens, trussed them with rope, then rolled them down a ramp like human logs, into the jaws of ravenous crocodiles, just for sport.

“This one is going to be bizarre and ironical, but difficult as hell”

thinks Ted to himself as he enjoys a strange bowl of soup he has concocted with a vast array of rare ingredients and leftovers.

July 18, 2029, 8:43 A.M.

The actors and crew are ready to do the ramp scene. No executive producers are at hand, but the director can, and will, begin without them. What he doesn’t know is that the executives actually are at hand, but silent.

It took Ted all night to round ‘em up. He had to use every technique of surreptitious entry known to man. Chinese men are often so skilled in martial arts that Ted had to kill one of them to insure his own survival. In this scene however, it won’t matter.

9:02 A.M.

The treasonous Caucasian actors, wearing white clothing and large-brimmed hats, begin their ridiculous performance as drunken English hunters. The crocodiles haven’t eaten for days, and are hemmed into a thirty by twenty-foot area at the base of the ramp by clear plastic walls under the muddy water of the studio pond. In a few more minutes they will be eating each other, so the action must proceed immediately. The human dummies of cloth, stuffed with outdated meat from supermarkets, are ready in a bin at the top of the ramp. The dialogue is over, and the order is given to let ‘em roll.

The faces of the dummies look very real as they roll down the ramp. There are people under the ramp, hired to cry out as live victims would, but wait, why are some of the dummies wearing gags? This is not scripted. The crocodiles don’t mind a bit. They just smile, and Eat ‘em up like Ginger Snaps.