Christmas Eve 2029

Ted is back skiing in New Hampshire for a few days, and tonight is visiting the Ravenswood College campus to enjoy the beautiful lighted trees he remembers so well. There is a fresh eleven inches of new snow.

Two students, John and Joseph, are sons of important Globalists, and just hate Christmas and everything it stands for. They are at school for the holidays, and tonight are very drunk, out sporting in a horse drawn sleigh they rented in town. Both have their military school sabers hidden under blankets.

Eight people, out Christmas caroling on the campus, are standing outside the snow clad chapel singing “Jingle Bells” with considerable volume and holiday spirit. As the drunken boys approach they join in with the singing. It’s such a beautiful classic Christmas scene that this should be happening. The boys somehow time the event perfectly. Just as the sleigh arrives where the carolers are standing, the song is at the perfect point,

“…and, Oh what fun it is to sing…”

The boys draw their sabers,

“…a slaying song tonight,’

sing both boys, as they leap from the sleigh and, one by one, impale or decapitate all eight of the horrified carolers.

Ted is three hundred feet away and sees the entire business. The boys continue singing as they remount the sleigh and head towards Ted with bloody sabers at the ready. Now Ted joins them in the singing,

“Oh what fun it is to sing…”

as he pulls out his Walther TPH,

“a slaying song tonight,”

and shoots both of them between the eyes.

The horse rears and charges off with the two dead boys bobbing merrily from side to side, and finally comes to as top in front of the student union building. A crowd forms around the sleigh, as a kind-hearted girl talks gently to steady the dear old horse.

Ted doesn’t know the Globalist connection here until he hears about it on the morning news the next day, He is, of course, delighted.